Most annoying Thank You card EVER

The Million Thank You Meter Card: It's exactly what the title implies; a million thank yous.

Tiny Creepy Babies

These "babies" are tiny enough to fit in a shell or your hand. But they're creepy! I came across this site with the help of StumbleUpon, and wanted to share it.

Camille Allen

Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

With this quick game, you can test your knowledge of famous programming language inventors and serial killers. There's 10 questions, and with every answer, be it right or wrong, you'll learn a quick thing or two about the man in question. Give it a try.

Programming Language Inventor or Serial Killer?

By the way, I got 10/10! I don't know if I should be happy or scared that I know a serial killer when I see one.

Creepy Dolls

This contains some truly creepy (yet beautiful) dolls.

{Click on "Jessica's Dolls"}

Something to do when bored... and in a parking lot

Have you ever driven though a parking lot and saw someone parked in four spaces at once? Now you can vandalize their vehicles with I Park Like An Idiot stickers. $10 for 20 stickers, they're the size of bumper stickers, bright yellow so they're easy to spot, and, if regular bumper stickers are anything to go by, a pain in the bum to scrape off.

Those yellow "I support the troops" magnets

movie trailer

Freedom Ship

The Freedom Ship, which is currently only in the planning stages, is an entirely at-sea community, where you can live, shop, work, and play without ever setting foot on land.

According to the designers, this ship would be larger than the Queen Mary at 4,500 feet long and 750 feet wide. It would constantly be on the move, circling the world (see the map here). The top level is reserved for small aircraft that would transport people to and from the "floating city".

Lifted from their site, the objectives of the Freedom Ship are to:

• Provide a unique, traveling residential community, combining the amenities of a modern city with those of the finest resorts, in an attractive, stimulating, and secure environment.
• Create a vigorous commercial community whose privately owned and operated on board enterprises will sell their products and services worldwide.
• Establish the world's largest duty-free retail shopping mall and bring it to markets around the world with a steady and substantial stream of resident and visiting customers.
• Develop the standard in education (US grades K through 12) for the entire world.
• Provide the residents and crew with the finest healthcare facilities and plans possible.

View their site here.

Links of the day

Post of the day: Bitchasaurus' 'Short Clip on Scientology'
From Beau Bo D'Or: A wonderful life... for Blair?
From Boing Boing: How to disable your new, RFID-laden US Passport
From Crooks and Liars: AP Poll: Bush #1 Villain of 2006
From D-Notice: The costs of ID cards
From Didn't You Hear: God protects you while you sleep?
From Didn't You Hear: Amnesty uses staples
From Archaeology in Europe: Top 10 discoveries of 2006
From Robotzilla: Toshiba Drape Analog Clock Phone
From Londonist: Wanna bet?
From Reaction: 100 things we didn't know last year

Random Bush Joke

I found this in a saved file on my laptop. I don't remember where it came from, so if anyone's seen it before, please let me know where.

President Bush, First Lady Laura and Dick Cheney were flying on Air Force One. George looked at Laura, chuckled and said, "You know, I could throw a $1,000 bill out of the window right now and make somebody very happy."

Laura shrugged her shoulders and replied, "I could throw ten $100 bills out of the window and make ten people very happy."

Cheney added, "That being the case, I could throw one hundred $10 bills out of the window and make a hundred people very happy."

Hearing their exchange, the pilot rolled his eyes and said to his co-pilot, "Such big-shots back there. Shit, I could throw all of them out of the window and make 56 million people very happy."

Special Defects

This site is beautiful. You can choose a series of special effects and watch them unfold. Check it out here. BTW, the above screenshot is from "Explosions in the Sky".

Strange Statues Around the World

Thanks to StumbleUpon for this wonderful collection of interesting statues around the world:

LINK

Another game

Although this time it's not educational. But it's fun. It's called Tilt. The object of the game is to keep a weight in the air, and it's actually quite hard when you get to level 5 and up.
Update: I just reached level 11 and 2147 points. yay!

Best Typing Game Ever

Word Shoot is the ultimate typing game. There's four levels (Impossible really is impossible) to test your skills. Most typing games are so blah, but this actually is a game. Give it a try.

What to do with a nuclear plant after a meltdown

via Boing Boing

Leekspin

I don't get it. But I like it. The song's catchy.

Leekspin

Shame on Diesel

I'm sure all of you have seen a Diesel clothing ad somewhere. Their latest is a new low for them. Sadly, I haven't been able to find it online anywhere, but I'll do my best to describe it.

It involves two unnaturally skinny models surrounded by parrots in the middle of a street (the street looks as if it's somewhere in the Middle East - although I'm not sure if it's just a set). In the lower right-hand corner of the ad there's a small box with contains the words "GLOBAL WARMING READY".

I've got a problem with this ad. Diesel is making light of a very serious problem. Global warming will never be taken seriously if stuff like this continues.

Most scientists now agree that we've got about ten years to make a difference. We can't fix what we've done, but we can slow it down and even stop it from growing. But without seriousness, the masses won't acknowledge that global warming is a major danger to our civilization.

Tie Skirt

I'll admit that I'm not going to jump up and buy this since I'm assuming the ties are made of silk (I'm vegan). But it's creative and original, which is a little rare nowadays when everything is just a clone.

The skirt is from anezka handmade and the direct link to the skirt is here.

What are the chances of you dying?

From August 2006 National Geographic, who in turn got their information from National Safety Council, 2003 data

Total odds of dying, any cause: 1 in 1
Heart disease: 1 in 5
Cancer: 1 in 7
Stroke: 1 in 24
Motor vehicle accident: 1 in 84
Suicide: 1 in 119
Falling: 1 in 218
Firearm assault: 1 in 314
Pedestrian accident: 1 in 626
Drowning: 1 in 1,008
Motorcycle accident: 1 in 1,020
Fire or smoke: 1 in 1,113
Bicycling accident: 1 in 4,919
Air/space accident: 1 in 5,051
Accidental firearm discharge: 1 in 5,134
Accidental electrocution: 1 in 9,968
Alcohol poisoning: 1 in 10,048
Hot weather: 1 in 13,729
Hornet, wasp, or bee sting: 1 in 56, 789
Legal execution: 1 in 62,468
Lightning: 1 in 79,746
Earthquake: 1 in 117,127
Flood: 1 in 144,156
Fireworks discharge: 1 in 340,733

Lovely Idea for City Living

I saw this on Inhabitat, but because I procrastinate I haven't posted it on here yet.

Grass Wheel

Absolutely the coolest design I've seen in a while

I love design, especially when it involves household furniture, decor, or hardware. That's why the sink pictured below is beautiful:via Didn't You Hear...

600!!!!!

I've just got 600 views! How awesome is that!

A big thanks to anyone that reads this blog. I love ya :)

Have you ever seen a $310,000 phone?

From Neatorama:
The phone has "one pear-cut diamond, one round white diamond, two emerald eyes, and 439 rubies".

What do you do in five years when your phone is out of date and you want a new one?

Awesome

From the September/October issue of Sierra, the Sierra Club's magazine:

Greenie and the Greenback

Henry "Hank" Paulson, President Bush's new secretary of the Treasury, has been called "Wall Street's greenest titan." He's an advocate of mandatory curbs on greenhouse-gas emissions. As CEO of Goldman Sachs, he allocated $1 billion for investment in renewable energy and energy-saving projects. He's chair of the Nature Conservancy and loves birdwatching.

According to Wikipedia,

Paulson has been described as an avid nature lover.^[7] He has been a member of the Nature Conservancy for decades and is the organization's Board chairman and co-chair of its Asia-Pacific Council.^[4] In that capacity, Paulson worked with former President of the People's Republic of China Jiang Zemin to preserve the Tiger Leaping Gorge in Yunnan province. He donated US$100 million worth of his Goldman Sachs stock to a family foundation dedicated to conservation and environmental education.^[8]

Paulson is also on the Board of Directors of the Peregrine Fund; was the founding Chairman of the Advisory Board of the School of Economics and Management of Tsinghua University in Beijing; and, previously served as chairman of the influential trade group, the Financial Services Forum.

Notable among the members of President Bush's cabinet, Paulson is a strong believer in the effect of human activity on global warming and advocates immediate action to decrease this effect. ^[9]

This is an awesome dude.

A world without the first admendment

Recently, something terribly frightening has been happening. Republicans want to remove our Freedom of Speech. At first I didn't pay much attention to Newt Gingrich, simply because he's a joke and I don't bother. But now there's more people talking about doing away with the First Amendment. Read Another Day in the Empire's post about Mike Gallagher for more information.

What's so scary is that until recently there was no one in the media that advocated for a removal of this right. Now there are people actually considering it. And people aren't that outraged about it.

Whenever I read an article like the one on Mike Gallagher, two things pass through my mind. One book and one movie. 1984, and the popular movie V for Vendetta.

Top 10 Ugliest Sneakers of 2006

Kineda has put together a list of the 10 ugliest sneakers from this past year. And they're not joking. Check it out here.

Across the Web, 21 December 2006

When Charity Shouldn’t Begin at Home from Common Dreams.

The Hidden Opportunity in Global Warming from AlterNet.

Colbert's word: The Draft [VIDEO] from AlterNet.

Rowling finds finishing final Potter book a nightmare from Yahoo!.

US Out Now from Antiwar.

The Star of Bethlehem from i-Science.

Rwanda seeks to join Commonwealth from BBC.

Triplets for woman with two wombs from BBC.

One in 20 Hispanics 'goes hungry' from BBC.

Avoid crappy plane seats with this site: seatguru.com from Boing Boing.

Baby put through airport x-ray from Boing Boing.

Two-headed fossil from Boing Boing.

Metalhead graffiti causes terror freakout from Boing Boing.

Aluna Tidal-Powered Clock from Inhabit.

Numbers

This is for all you number freaks. I didn't actually read through the whole thing (I'm not one of the previously mentioned "number freaks"), but what I did read of it was interesting.

What's Special About This Number?

Not quite how it seems

For the few remaining pro-Iraqi war people, when asked why we should be in Iraq and how the Iraqi people have benefited, they almost always bring up women's rights. However, in this article from Feministing, women may have less rights then they did before the invasion.

Iraqi Women Have Fewer Rights Than Ever

The French Could Have Killed Bin Laden

So what?

Not too long ago Americans were angry at Bill Clinton because he let Osama Bin Laden "go". Now it's the French. Are we going to have to start eating freedom fries again?

Seriously, what's the point of playing this little roundabout game? Saying, "You should have killed him" is not going to fix anything. You can't change the past.

Best I've Seen All Year

This is the best cartoon I've seen all year. And it's without doubt the most truthful.


Here's the link.

DNA testing

States get DNA samples from convicted felons. Everyone knows that. And it's as it should be. But should the police also take samples from people guilty of minor crimes and people that are arrested?

In the U.K., a country that makes everyone have their cheek swabbed for DNA sampling, criminals have been identified as a direct result of the DNA testing 660,000 times. On the other hand, the United States, who doesn't mandate sampling/testing, has only identified 39,000 criminals through this method.

Personally, it it can help solve rapes and murders then I'm all for it. But some may view it as an assault on our privacy. Opinions?

India forces couples to have HIV testing

In a recent article from the BBC it was reported that India would make HIV testing mandatory in order to do something about the growing HIV epidemic. Currently, there are over five million Indians living with the disease. For more information, click here.

I'm not sure how I feel about this. On the one hand, it could prevent the spread of HIV/AIDS and help people seek treatment. On the other hand, it's an invasion of privacy.

Maybe instead of mandatory, India should offer free testing. Unfortunately, they barely have the money and resources to deal with the number of illnesses now.

What are everyone else's opinions on this?

Learn about black holes

This is a really interesting little site. It's an interactive way to learn about black holes. Which some believe will kill us all. (It's highly unlikely, but there are some people that think a black hole is heading towards our galaxy and that will be the end of civilization as we know it).

Black Holes

Mad TV Tickle Me Emo

Check Bush's E-mail

Another site for all the Bush-haters.

I love Britain

Britain Approves World's Biggest Offshore Wind Farm

As the article says, this farm will provide electricity to 1 million homes.

widsom

"That men do not learn very much from the lessons of history is the most important of all the lessons of history. - Aldous Huxley"

lalala...

My biggest pet peeve is people singing. Not all singing, mind you. Just people who seriously can't. Or when someone sings along to a song. It annoys me beyond reason.

I'm not trying to be a joy killer or anything. And I'm not really sure why it bothers me so much, but it does. The worst of all is when someone tries to sing along with a song whose words they don't know, and it ends up being a series of mumbles that aren't actually words at all.

Just a few issues

In the December 2006 issue of Marie Claire, the magazine polled 600 of it's readers on some political issues. Since I've nothing better to do, here's what I think. Feel free to comment with how you feel for each issue.

How do you vote? Democrat, although I'm Green.

More than 78 million Americans didn't vote in 2004. If you could securely vote from home, would you be more likely to do so? Not at all. I always vote. Even in local elections. If you don't vote, you have no right to complain.

Legal immigrants in the U.S. pay taxes but can't vote. Should taxpayers have the right to vote, regardless of citizenship? Yes. If they pay taxes, they have a right to choose how they want the money spent. I'm obviously not in the majority on this question. 65% of the readers said no.

Would you vote for a female president? Yes. But only if she could do the job. I wouldn't vote for anyone just because they're a woman.

Does the U.S. have the right to determine whether other countries can develop nuclear weapons, considering we already have them ourselves? No. We're not the leader of the world.

Who pays for your health insurance? My dad. I'm 19 and getting ready to start college; I can't exactly afford it.

Electoral College or popular vote? I understand why there's an electoral college and the benefits, but it's always felt wrong to me.

Gay marriage - whose call? National. It's a human right.

Should the U.S. have a time line to withdraw from Iraq? Yes, but I'm not sure I trust them in keeping their promise.

Golly

Truly Weird... but fascinating

I personally don't want one of these. The idea of pumping blood into a scarf makes me feel icky. But Laura Splan, whose work "explores perceptions of beauty and horror, comfort and discomfort" (obviously) has created this scarf that uses your own blood to keep you warm. I have to say, it's outrageously creative. Still...

Laura Splan

Make sure you look at some of her other work.

(Thanks to Didn't You Hear for writing about this.)

I'm Angelic

According to this quiz anyway. Which I guess is a good thing. I would secretly love to have a "dark streak". Maybe it just hasn't come out in me yet.



How evil are you?

I'm Smarter Than You

The BBC just published an article that says in the header "Intelligent children are more likely to become vegetarians later in life, a study says". How awesome is that. Here's the link to the article.

Mel Gibson's Secret

Supposedly this has been on the net for awhile now, but being the slow-poke I am I haven't seen it yet. I'm counting on not being the only one.

It turns out that there's a hidden "easter egg" in the Apple trailer for Gibson's latest, Apocalypto. Check out AlterNet's entry about it for a slowed-down clip of the trailer.

And in case you're wondering if it's real or not, it is. I wanted to see it for myself, so I went to the original trailer and found it.

"A Story From History"

I love The Highlander. It's not a particularly fancy magazine (black & white, non-glossy), but the articles are some of my favorite. If you ever come across an issue, definitely take a look at it. You won't be disappointed.

This is a quick little tidbit from their November/December 1999 issue that's buried away between a larger article and a short article on the Memphis Scottish Society. Usually I skip the pages I think are only updates on Scottish Societies throughout the US, but I happened to see the title, "A Story From History", and read it. I want to share it with you here. Unfortunately I don't know who the author was, but it's a good read.

His name was Fleming, and he was a poor Scottish farmer. One day, while trying to eke out a living for his family, he heard a cry for help coming from a nearby bog. He dropped his tools and ran to the bog. There, mired to his waist in black muck, was a terrified boy, screaming and struggling to free himself.

Farmer Fleming saved the lad from what could have been a slow and terrifying death. The next day, a fancy carriage pulled up to the Scotsman's sparse surroundings. An elegantly dressed nobleman stepped out and introduced himself as the father of the boy farmer Fleming had saved.

"I want to repay you," said the nobleman. "You saved my son's life."

"No, I can't accept payment for what I did," the Scottish farmer replied, waving off the offer.

At that moment, the farmer's own son came to the door of the family home.

"Is that your son?" the nobleman asked.

"Yes," the farmer replied proudly.

"I'll make you a deal. Let me take him and give him a good education. If the lad is anything like his father, he'll grow to a man you can be proud of."

And that he did. In time, farmer Fleming's son graduated from St. Mary's Hospital Medical School in London, and went on to become known throughout the world as the noted Sir Alexander Fleming, the discoverer of penicillin.

Years afterward, the nobleman's son was stricken with pneumonia. What saved him? Penicillin. The name of the nobleman? Lord Randolph Churchill. His son's name? Sir Winston Churchill.

Albert and the 'eadsman

Written by Marriott Edgar

ALBERT AND THE 'EADSMAN

On young Albert Ramsbottom's birthday
His parents asked what he'd like most;
He said to see t' Tower of London
And gaze upon Anne Boleyn's ghost.

They thowt this request were unusual
And at first to refuse were inclined,
Till Pa said a trip to t' metrollopse
Might broaden the little lad's mind.

They took charrybank up to London
And got there at quarter to fower,
Then, seeing as pubs wasn't open,
They went straight away to the Tower.

They didn't think much to the building
'Tweren't what they'd been led to suppose,
And the "Bad Word" Tower didn't impress them,
They said Blackpool had got one of those.

At last Albert found a Beefeater,
And filled the old chap with alarm
By asking for Ghost of Anne Boleyn,
As carried her head 'neath her arm.

Said Beefeater "You ought to come Fridays
If it's Ghost of Anne Boleyn you seek,
Her Union now limits her output,
And she only gets one walk a week.

"But", he said, "if it's ghosts that you're after,
There's Lady Jane Grey's to be seen,
She runs around chases by the 'Eadsman
At midnight on th' old Tower Green."

They waited on t' green till near midnight,
Then thinking they's time for a sup,
They took out what food they'd brought with them
And waited for t' Ghost to turn up.

On the first stroke of twelve, up jumped Albert,
His mouth full of cold dripping toast,
With his stick with the 'orse's 'ead 'andle
He pointed, and said "'Ere's the Ghost!"

They felt their skins growing all goosey
As Lady Jane's spectre drew near,
And Albert fair swallered his tonsils
When the 'Eadsman an' all did appear.

The 'Eadsman chased Jane round the grass patch,
They saw his axe flash in the moon,
And seeing t' poor lass were headless,
They wondered what next he would prune.

He suddenly caught sight of Albert,
As midnight was on its last chime;
As he lifted his axe Father murmured,
"We'll get the insurance this time."

At that Mother rose, taking umbridge;
She said, "Put that cleaver away.
You're not cutting our Albert's 'ead off,
Yon collar were clean on today."

The brave little lad stood undaunted
Till the Ghost were within half a pace,
Then taking the toast he were eating,
Slapped it, dripping side down, in his face.

'Twere a proper set-back for the 'Eadsman,
He let out one howl of despair,
Then taking his lady friend with him,
He disappeared - just like that there.

When Pa saw the way as they vanished,
He trembled with fear and looked blue,
Till Ma went and patted his shoulder
An' said, "'S all right, lad, we saw it too."

Some say 'twere the drippin' as done it,
From roast leg of mutton it came,
And as th' 'Eadsman had been a Beefeater,
They reckoned he vanished from shame.

And around Tower Green from that moment
They've ne'er seen the sign of a ghost,
But when t' Beefeaters go on night duty,
They take slices of cold drippin' toast.

A Blonde Joke

A blonde walks into a bank in Chicago and asks for the loan officer. She says she's going to Europe on business for three weeks and needs to borrow $5,000. The bank officer says the bank will need some kind of security for the loan, so the blonde hands over the keys to a new Rolls Royce.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. She has the title and everything checks out. The bank agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan. The bank's president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the blonde for using a $250,000 Rolls as collateral against a $5,000 loan. And employee for the bank then proceeds to drive the Rolls into the bank's underground garage and parks it there.

Three weeks later, the blonde returns, repays the $5,000 and the interest, which comes to $18.41. The loan officer says, "Miss, we are very happy to have had your business and this transaction has worked out very well, but we are a little puzzled."

"While you were away, we checked you out and found that you are a multi-millionaire. What puzzles us is why you would bother to borrow $5,000?"

The blonde replies, "Where else in Chicago can I park my car for three weeks for only $18.41 and expect it to be there when I return?"


Finally... a SMART blonde joke

you know you're a monty python fan when...

You know you're a Python fan when...

.. Just by listening, you can tell which voice belongs to which Python.

.. You can recite whole scenes and gags by yourself AND do all the right voices.

.. You correct others when they get a teeny part of the script wrong.

.. Then you insult their parents with a French accent, saying 'Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!'

.. You've tried to do a Silly Walk.

.. You have ever tried to teach someone The Knights of Ni's new name: "The Knights who Say Ecki-ecki-ecki-ecki-p'clang-zoop-boing-g'berz'howliziv"

.. You see decapitation on TV and comment, "It's just a flesh wound."

.. You think someone with fresh fruit is dangerous.

.. All questions are asked in 3.

.. You constantly end sentences with, "Know what I mean? Know what I mean? Nudge, nudge, wink, wink, say no more!"

.. Whenever you see a rabbit you say "that's no ordinary rabbit, that's the most cruel, vile and vicious rodent you ever set eyes on!"

.. You're at the grocery and the butcher is wheeling a cart of meat to the counter and you say "Bring out your dead!"

.. You've ever tried to buy a license for your pet fish name Eric.

.. You've actually tried to research the velocity of an unladen swallow... both African and European!

.. You see a dead animal (especially a bird) and automatically exclaim, "THIS is an EX-PARROT."

.. Whenever someone begins, "I didn't expect..." you interrupt with, "Nooobody expects the Spanish Inquistion."

.. You have ever told someone to bring a shrubbery before entering your house.

.. You always refer to yourself as an upper-class twit, and pretend to jump over match boxes.

.. You have learned how not to be seen.

.. Your friends show off their house and you say: "It's only a model."

.. You know the "Philosophers Song" by heart.

.. ...You take college philosophy to learn why Immanuel Kant was a real pissant.

.. Mom asked you what do you want for dinner and you say, SPAM, SPAM, SPAM!!

.. Every woman you come in contact with, you touch their breasts.

.. You're still trying to find a man with three buttocks.

.. Everytime you hear a gun shot, the first thing through your mind is "Noooooooobody expects the Spanish Inquisition!"

.. You have ever tried "street climbing"

.. You keep walking back and forth by someone saying "good morning....good morning...."

.. You believe your name is Dinsdale and your being chased by a forty foot hedgehog named "Spiny Norman"

.. You eat, wear, burn, and feed the cat lupins.

.. You skip through the house making horse sounds with coconuts.

.. When in a restaurant, you can't resist taking the napkin, knotting the corners, and wearing it like a hat. (

.. After telling someone your profession, you immediately add "...but I always wanted to be a LUMBERJACK!"

.. You suddenly change the subject by saying "And now for something completely different..."

.. When, after coming in from doing hard work, someone asked you what you've been doing you've ever replied "I just spent four hours buryin' the cat" (and enjoyed the strange look you got)

.. You have ever responded to someone asking where something is by saying "Is it behind the rabbit?"

.. All of your comebacks/insults are in an "outrageous accent."

.. Somebody wishes to move past you (vehicle, etc.) you quote the bridge scene.

.. If you find yourself saying "NI" to people that you don't like

.. You have a perfect cockney accent... and you've never been to England

.. You find yourself saying "tis only a flesh wound" when you are bleeding to death and laughing about it through the pain

.. You have all the CD's with songs on them, and people catch you singing them to yourself.

.. You watched "As Good As It Gets" and snickered when Jack Nicholson played "Always Look on the Bright Side of Life," not because of the irony of it all, but because you remember the song from "Life of Brian."

This is for Theodor Seuss Geisel

...or Dr. Seuss. Great writer, and probably the most-read children's author of all time. I was bored, so what the heck, let's learn about this man. But instead of writing about some boring biography, I found some pretty funny stuff instead, including one of his own political cartoons. Here you go! Tell me if you know of any more...

And now for the Dr. Seuss Bible:

One day God said, "This is what I will do:
I'll send down my son. I'll send him to you
To clear up this humpity bumpity hullaballoo.
His name will be Christ and he'll never wear shoes.
His pals will all call him 'The King of the Jews.'"

He didn't come in a plane.
He didn't come in a Jeep.
He didn't come in a pouch
Of a high jumping Voveep.

He rode on the back of a black Sassatoo
Which is the blackiest creature you ever could view.

He rode to Jerusalem -- home of the grumpity Jews
Where false prophets were worshiped -- some even in twos.
There was Murray VonMyrrh and Ghengis Vovooz --
The one you could worship by taking a snooze.

Christ spoke from a mound
Which is a pile of ground.
People gathered around
Without making a sound.

Thus he spake:

"Sin in socks
Socks full of sin.
How do we quiet
This Jehovaty din?
Do unto others as they do unto you.
That includes you, young Timothy Foo."

One pharisee said to another he knew,
"What shall we do with this uppity Jew?"
"Let's wash him in wine and make him all clean
And into Sam Zittle's crucifiction machine."

Twirl the Gawhirl
And release the Galeese
And in go the nails
As fast as you please.

And it is said
That he said as he bled,
"Forgive them Father, for they know not what they do.
For they walk throughout life in toe crampity shoes."

Do you?

Amen.

How the Grinch Stole Christmas!

You're a mean one, Mr. Grinch.
You really are a heel.
You're as cuddly as a cactus,
You're as charming as an eel.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a bad banana
With a greasy black peel

You're a monster, Mr. Grinch.
Your heart's an empty hole.
Your brain is full of spiders,
You've got garlic in your soul.
Mr. Grinch.

I wouldn't touch you, with a
thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole.

You're a vile one, Mr. Grinch.
You have termites in your smile.
You have all the tender sweetness
Of a seasick crocodile.
Mr. Grinch.

Given the choice between the two of you
I'd take the seasick crockodile.

You're a foul one, Mr. Grinch.
You're a nasty, wasty skunk.
Your heart is full of unwashed socks
Your soul is full of gunk.
Mr. Grinch.

The three words that best describe you,
are, and I quote: "Stink. Stank. Stunk."

You're a rotter, Mr. Grinch.
You're the king of sinful sots.
Your heart's a dead tomato splot
With moldy purple spots,
Mr. Grinch.

Your soul is an apalling dump heap overflowing
with the most disgraceful assortment of deplorable
rubbish imaginable,
Mangled up in tangled up knots.

You nauseate me, Mr. Grinch.
With a nauseaus super-naus.
You're a crooked jerky jockey
And you drive a crooked horse.
Mr. Grinch.

You're a three decker saurkraut and toadstool
sandwich
With arsenic sauce.

And here's some sites:

http://www.seuss.org/seuss/seuss.home.html http://orpheus.ucsd.edu/speccoll/dspolitic/